Somehow being a gentleman has become a checklist of traits. “If I do this, then I am a gentleman.” Not necessarily. The gentleman persuasion is holistic. All the finer qualities of a gentleman emanate from a strong inner character. He’s honest, he has integrity, and he has a strong acceptance of himself. Because he doesn’t live in shame, there is no need to put on an act. His motions are tried and true, meaning they are resilient even under pressure.
So don’t believe if you do one thing, it makes you a gentleman. Here are 10 things that do not necessarily make you a gentleman:
1. A signature drink does not necessarily make you a gentleman.
A gentleman with inner confidence will be just as comfortable drinking pink sangria with a paper umbrella.
A gentleman with inner confidence will be just as comfortable drinking pink sangria with a paper umbrella.
2. A well-fitted suit and bow tie do not necessarily make you a gentleman
It’s not just what you wear, but how you wear it. A gentleman does not find his identity in what he wears or material possessions.
It’s not just what you wear, but how you wear it. A gentleman does not find his identity in what he wears or material possessions.
3. A classy car does not necessarily make you a gentleman
Today’s gentleman is concerned about more than himself. You might find him driving a Chevy Volt or a Toyota Prius.
Today’s gentleman is concerned about more than himself. You might find him driving a Chevy Volt or a Toyota Prius.
4. Opening doors for ladies does not necessarily make you a gentleman
You’re not a gentleman if you only open the door for pretty women but slam the door on everyone else.
You’re not a gentleman if you only open the door for pretty women but slam the door on everyone else.
5. An ivy league degree does not necessarily make you a gentleman
A gentleman has no need to toss his pedigree around because he knows you’ll discover his intelligence in conversation.
A gentleman has no need to toss his pedigree around because he knows you’ll discover his intelligence in conversation.
6. Going to church every Sunday does not necessarily make you a gentleman
If you’re judging/pointing out the flaws in others and not paying attention to your own, you’re not a gentleman.
If you’re judging/pointing out the flaws in others and not paying attention to your own, you’re not a gentleman.
7. Volunteering does not necessarily make you a gentleman
If you give, but expect something in return, you’re not a gentleman.
If you give, but expect something in return, you’re not a gentleman.
8. Walking her home does not necessarily make you a gentleman
If your intention is to get an invite upstairs, you’re not a gentleman
If your intention is to get an invite upstairs, you’re not a gentleman
9. Taking her to the nicest restaurant does not necessarily make you a gentleman
If your finances are not in order, and you’re spending the rest of your savings trying to impress her, you’re not a gentleman.
If your finances are not in order, and you’re spending the rest of your savings trying to impress her, you’re not a gentleman.
10. Being in shape does not necessarily make you a gentleman
If your outer strength outweighs your inner strength, you are not a gentleman because a gentleman is just as strong or stronger within.
If your outer strength outweighs your inner strength, you are not a gentleman because a gentleman is just as strong or stronger within.
The 30 Characteristics of a Good Guy describe some of the inner workings of a gentleman. The outer displays are just the icing on the cake. The gentleman does the right thing because he has integrity, not because others are watching or because it’s convenient. He’s comfortable in his shoes. He’s comfortable being a gentleman.
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